父母到底欠子女什么?
Do parents owe their children anything? Yes,they owe them a great deal.
那么,做父母的到底欠不欠孩子的东西呢?答案是肯定的,欠,而且欠他们很多。
One of their chief obligations is to give their children a sense of personal worth of self-esteem is the basis of a good mental health. A youngster,who is constantly made to feci stupid and unworthy,constantly compared to brighter brothers,sisters or cousins,will become so unsure,so afraid of failing,that he (or she) won't try at ail. Of course,they should be corrected when they do wrong ; this is the way children learn. But the criticisms should be balanced with praises,preferably with a smile and a kiss. No child is ever too old to be hugged. Parents owe their children iirm guidance and consistent discipline. It is frightening for ayoungster to feel thai he is in charge of himself; it's like being in a car without brakes. The parents who say "No" when other parents say "Yes" sends a double message. He is also saying: "I love you,and I am ready to risk your anger,because I don't want you to get into trouble."
父母的主要责任和任务之一,是让孩子们懂得自身的价值。因为自尊和自信是饱满精神状态的基础,这一点中国的父母尤其做的不够。对于当代青年的普遍的心理危机,首要的责任当推中国的父母对子女早期的心理教育的欠缺。我们并不缺少在奥林匹克各学科竞赛上摘金挂银的学生,而缺少的是当代跨世纪青少年饱满的精神状态。只有有了良好的精神状态,他们才有足够的心理容量去迎接崭新的二十一世纪的挑战。一个青少年,如果总是拿他与比他聪明的兄弟姐妹或同龄的亲戚朋友相比,如果总是让他感到自己愚蠢和无用,那他就会变得毫无自信,惟恐失败,以至不想去试着做任何努力,干任何哪怕是他力所能及的事情。这一点,中国的父母可能是源于从小根深蒂固的“楷模” 、“英雄”等对先进典型的敬仰观念。做起来更甚,他们很少提自己的子女有什么优势,而总是拿自己的子女和更优秀的孩子比,“永不自满”作为中国人的传统美德在这里就显得有些尴尬了。当然,如果子女做错了事,父母应该纠正他们的错误,这是孩子们学习做人的途径。不过,在教育子女时,批评应该与表扬并重,而且最好是面带微笑,并吻他一下,孩子再大,也是可以拥抱的。西方的父母这一点比我们幽默,放松得多。
Parents owe their children a comfortable feeling about their body,and enough information about sex to balance the misinformation that they will surely receive from their friends.
父母有责任让他们的孩子对自己身体的生理变化有一种轻松的感觉,要教给他们足够的性知识,以免他们从他们的朋友那里得到太多的错误观念。
Parents owe their children privacy and respect for their personalbelongings. This means not borrowing things without permission,not readingdiaries and mail,not looking through purses,pockets,and drawers. If a motherfeels that she must read her daughter's diary to know what is going on,thecommunication between them must be pretty bad.
父母应该尊重子女的隐私权,尊重他们私人的东西。也就是说,未经他们的允许不能动用他们的东西,也不要偷看他们的日记和信件,不要乱翻他们的钱包、口袋和抽屉。如果一个当母亲的觉得自己只有看了女儿的日记才能了解女儿在干些什么,那就表明她们母女之间的交流糟糕到了极点。